Relying on for how long you’ve been trying to get your ex back, or the number of times you’ve tried and failed already, you’ve probably heard people talking about giving up the concerted efforts you’ve been making and going “no contact” with your ex.
At first glance that appears like a crazy plan! Right? The idea that you would be able to get your ex back by not attempting to get her back sounds absolutely absurd. But, it works. As a matter of fact, it often works where everything else you’ve tried in the past has failed. Here are three reasons why.
1) Absence Does Make Hearts Fonder
There’s something about not being surrounded by memories, flooded by emotions, and constantly exposed to someone that makes things easier to look past the negative associations and see the positive. Once enough time has passed, the memories of arguments, fights, disagreements, and even petty annoyances fade. All that’s left are the good memories and a sense of what she really does miss about you and your relationship.
2) Time Heals Old Wounds
Even if things ended badly between you and things were said that shouldn’t have been, time has an amazing way of soothing wounds and healing heartbreaks. You’ll be amazed by the types of wounds that might be healed when enough time is allowed to pass. Your ex can forgive the little things as well as the big things – even cheating. But, you need to be willing to allow the right amount of time to pass to allow that to happen. And, the bigger the grievance, the longer time will need to pass before she’s truly had time to heal.
3) She Can’t Understand What She’s Lost Until It’s Truly Gone
She’ll never understand what she’s losing out on without you in her life if you’re a constant presence in her life. It’s as simple as that. She’s never going to take you back if she gets all the benefits of your presence, support, love, and friendship, without being required to return those things. Take a break. Step away. Don’t answer when she calls. Then, wait. Expect her to call you. Because eventually she’ll realize what she’s lost and be ready to call you.
There is a trick to make this work though. You need to take an iron hand about it. I’m not saying you should go out of your way to avoid her forever, though it’s a smart idea for a little while. You need to give her time and space. You should wait long enough for her to start remembering the good and forgetting the bad. Most importantly, you have to give you both time to find out what you want from the relationship and one another the second time around. Then, when the second chance arrives you need to put in the time to make sure you’re both on the same page about your expectations for the future.