When your husband cheats, it does a real number on your self-esteem. Even worse, it undermines your faith in your husband and the love he has for you. That probably wasn’t his intention when he decided to cheat. It’s just another byproduct of the act. But, does his cheating mean he’s actually considering leaving? The good news is probably not. As a matter of fact, leaving has probably never even crossed his mind.
Here are a few of the reasons why leaving is rarely the end game when men cheat.
If he Intended to Leave he Would Have Left Before he Cheated
Seriously, if that was his ultimate goal, he doesn’t need to go through the act of cheating and the emotional fallout that goes along consequently. Chances are he never thought he would get caught. Quite often he’s riddled with guilt in the aftermath and has no intention of cheating again. Sometimes it’s a relationship additional though. None he wants as an alternative to his relationship with you, but one that he enjoys along with the one he has with you.
It’s his way of having his cake and having another one on the side. The one on the side is nice for brief periods of time, but none worth risking his family and life at home in order to have full time.
He’s Probably Not Thinking about You whatsoever
Truthfully speaking, if he WAS thinking of you, he probably wouldn’t have cheated in the first place. Thinking isn’t high up on the priority list when cheating takes place. For men, it goes back to the primitive man when populating the planet was the genetic directive. This was in the past when men had many wives and mortality rates were high for women, infants, and children.
That doesn’t excuse his bad behavior. It’s just trying to give you a little bit of insight into what’s going on in his mind when the cheating happens (not much of anything). The good news is that he isn’t trying to hurt you, break your heart, or leave you behind.
Despite what you’ve heard about cheating and working things out, it is a difficult thing for most marriages to recover from. Your reaction is just as important as him making a conscious and dedicated to the decision to work on whatever it requires to restore the broken trust in the relationship. Once you understand that it isn’t about you whatsoever, you can begin to rebuild and redefine your marriage. Only then, can you move forward and intend to save your marriage down the road– something both of you probably want to do.