Marriage requires work. This is something most couples don’t understand– at least when walking into the marriage contract. All relationships require work. Business relationships, parenting relationships, and yet, so many people are surprised to discover just how much work is required to make a marriage successful. Some couples do make things look easy. These are the couples, most of the time, who have built their marriages on solid foundations. If you have an interest in keeping your marriage on track, getting it back on course, or attempting to get it on track from the very beginning, you should consider these tips for building a better foundation.
Discuss Your Past – Briefly
It resides in the past and that’s where it should remain. Unless you have major secrets you’re hiding that could harm your relationship down the road, there isn’t much to say about past relationships, connections, and events. That doesn’t mean you should attempt to hide things. Only that it isn’t necessary to discuss the intimate details of every boy you’ve kissed from third grade on up. Relationships are often made stronger because of a shared history but the relationships that last are the ones that keep their eyes on the future and are not constantly staring back into the past.
This also works for fights, arguments, disagreements, etc. Leave them in the past and carry on. If you can’t make up, find a way to work it out so that you’re not constantly dwelling on it. If it’s an ongoing problem find a solution that benefits you both or it will keep on being a problem for your marriage.
Make Plans for the Future – Keep them Flexible
Flexibility is a word that should be a cornerstone of all marriages. It’s one thing to have a future mapped out together. You need to have plans for the future. But, you should avoid sticking to those plans so rigidly that they jeopardize your future together.
Embrace the Moment – You Never Know The number of You’ll Have
Life is short. And, it offers no guarantees. You never know how many sunrises and sunsets you’ll have your marriage. Illness, accidents, as well as relationship turmoil, can rob you of the future you hoped for. Cherish the amount of time you have together. When petty arguments arise, really think, long and hard, if the argument is worth the discord. Decide if it’s worth robbing you of the joy of being together– even momentarily.
Once you build a better foundation for your marriage, based upon these principles, you’ll see a huge difference in the way you approach problems and work to find solutions. Ultimately, you’ll both have a happier marriage that requires less work than many other couples struggling for a future that isn’t benefiting them, rehashing past arguments, or failing to benefit from the amount of time they have together today.